Jul 262014

imagesI saw his photo weeks ago. He looked nice. Groomed. Professional.

Today, I knocked at his door. He led me upstairs and he nodded for me to sit. We chatted. I told him some of my untold secrets about my life, my body, my needs. He just listened.

Then he asked me to remove my top and sit on the bed. I did so. He looked at me; hands slid over my face, my neck.


Then he said, ‘Just lay face down on the bed’.

I did so, aware of my exposed torso, his hands all over my body, pushing me down.

He asked me to turn over. I did. He said he would mostly be behind me and I should just relax. It would take about 20 minutes.

I put on my top, paid him and left.

I am sore.

But that’s what you get when you go to the osteopath.

Body Language #showusyourbelly

Body Language #showusyourbelly

My body speaks to me; the ultimate body language. It says: ‘FFS turn the lights out.’ ‘Yes, your bum DOES look big in that.’  ‘You used to be so much slimmer, I mean LOOK at you!’ ‘Really? Shorts?’ ‘Stop eating. Just stop.’ ‘You look hideous in that, just look at your belly.’ Ah, yes. My [click here to read more]

Britmums. Live. Da, da, DAH!!! (for the Croods fans amongst you )

Britmums. Live. Da, da, DAH!!! (for the Croods fans amongst you )

Yep. In 5 days time it’s Britmums Live. And this year I am a butterfly. No, not literally, but there to smile and chat to the more apprehensive amongst you and assure you that we are all the same. Some might seem louder, but that’s just compensation for nerves. Crap. I’M nervous and I’m a [click here to read more]

#BiBs2014 Shortlist

#BiBs2014 Shortlist

I’m on it! And a little bit gobsmacked. I was secretly hoping, yet maintaining a safe degree of nonchalance as I really didn’t expect to be there and wanted to retain some kernel of pride. But you know how it is; the so often half-empty cup we writers nurse so well as we burn the midnight [click here to read more]